Winter Blues

Text, photos, art direction, and fashion design by Liz and Beth

3/26/20263 min read

Winter is almost over, and this is the perfect time to show off how Beth and Liz managed to stay warm and fashionable over the past few months. Our ladies were fed up with the weather, but luckily, they knew the perfect venue to kick the cold out the door in style and take on a few outdoor tasks to boot. Beth had a house with some neglected chores to tackle and a head-turning winter wardrobe to pillage. So on a mild February afternoon, they rummaged through the closet and got to work, more or less. Predictably, fashion passion quickly overtook menial labor, and chores were soon forgotten. What they came up with is guaranteed to startle and astonish your neighbors.

Liz had the blues and it showed, starting with a midnight blue acrylic knit balaclava which revealed her emotions, and little else. An additional layer of headwear in the form of a brown wool beanie implied a warming trend, while a Tibetan Buddhist ear warmer and hand-knit Peruvian alpaca wool cerulean scarf lent an exotic yet homely artisanal touch to the cerebral ensemble.

A crystalline cashmere cardigan brought to mind a melting glacier, with a hint of a chartreuse chemise peeping out from beneath, like grass growing in Antarctica. Below that, things heated up quicker than the postindustrial planet with a retina-burning red skirt adorned with remnant monochrome scraps of forever polyester fabric atop a redundant pair of jeans as faded as an empire in decline, rolled up suggestively to reveal a pair of striped knee socks in wildfire hot magenta and orange.

To unify the look, Liz donned chunky heeled rubber Chelsea boots and I-just-killed-my-husband sunglasses in matching snow-melt white. A string of faux pearls lent a touch of class, though decidedly not the billionaire class.

Beth embraced a martial look that did little to repress her wild side. A rhinestone officer’s hat got the party- and the war- started, and neither is showing any sign of stopping. The foundation of the look- and the war- was visible to the discerning eye in the form of an underage sateen camisole in a can’t-say-no cream, complete with spaghetti straps and plenty of lace embroidery.

A soft orange corrugated knit sweater with a wide labial ruffle suggesting a cartridge bandolier got hearts pumping and legs goose-stepping, and a paisley blazer in shades of fiery orange kept things official, while its trippy vibe was sure to stop antifa in its tracks. Grey mid-thigh Edwardian stockings revealed just enough to confuse the enemy under a pair of breezy linen shorts in nazi black, and patent leather brogues, also in black, lent a businesslike sensibility to the attire, reminding the viewer that profit is the ultimate goal of war. And that consummate accessory, the pearl necklace handed down from the musty-smelling aunt one occasionally visited as a child, served as a tribute to the importance of family.

Our ladies ended the day feeling unprepared for the future but upbeat about their style choices. “We feel like the world is crumbling around us, but we can’t wait to show off our spring look. Or summer; do we even have seasons anymore?” said Beth from the recesses of her overstuffed couch. Whatever the weather, we can’t wait to see how they dress for it.

When will this ever end??